Author: Neville Fernandes

“I am not going to school anymore,” said the boy, when he returned in the evening. “What happened?” his mother lifted his chin and tried to cheer him with a smile. “My teacher is yet to make up her mind,”… Continue Reading →

A man lost both his ears in a very serious automobile accident but as a result received a large insurance settlement. After some period of time he realized that he needed an assistant to help him manage his money. He… Continue Reading →

“You cannot get eggs without hens,” the speaker said. “My dad can,” said a small voice from the back of the audience. “How can he do that?” asked the speaker. “He keeps duck,” the voice yelled back.

State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what is in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,”… Continue Reading →

Bookseller: “This book will do half your work for you” School boy (yawing): “Then I’ll take two.”

An American-born Desi returned to India and hired a tourist cab for sightseeing. When taken to the Taj Mahal in Agra, he asked how many years it took to build it. The guide replied 20 years. The American desi remarked… Continue Reading →

Little girl: “mother, may I have some money for the old man who is outside crying?” Mother: “yes, dear, but what is the old man crying about?” Little girl: “Ice cream cones, five rupees.”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you thinking about?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on… Continue Reading →

A fat lady was struggling to get inside the bus. Driver (to the fat lady):”Try side ways.” Lady:”my dear man, can’t you see? I have no sides.”

One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four-way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. “Officer you can’t give me a ticket for that!” “Why not,” said… Continue Reading →