Humour Tonic

Friend: “you look all broken up.” College Student:” I wrote home for money for a study lamp.” Friend: “So what?” College Student: “They sent the lamp.”

An elderly farmer wrote to a mail order house as follows : “please send me one of the gasoline’s engines you show on page 787, and if it’s any good, I’ll send you a cheque.” In time he received the… Continue Reading →

Conny: “Father, I stole fowls from my neighbor.” Confessor:”How many?” Conny: “Hmmm five” better make it seven. I intend to take another two this evening.”

The preacher was explaining the sixth chapter of St. Mathew. He noticed a woman sobbing and shedding tears. At the end of the Mass he sent for her and asked:”which part of the sermon impressed you most?” She answered: “didn’t… Continue Reading →

Visitor: “Are your father and mother in?” Youngster:” they was in, but they is out.” Visitor: “they was in, they is out? Where is your grammar?” Youngster: “Oh, granma? She’s gone upstairs for a nap.”

Priest: “Remember, the way to heaven is straight and narrow path. Do you realize that?” Acrobat:”That does not worry me the least. I am a tight-rope walker.”

Waitress: “Are you sure you are the gentleman who ordered this steak?” I thought you were a much younger man.” Customer: “Yes, I was a much younger man when I ordered I.”

It’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on… Continue Reading →

After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than he. “œI don’t understand,” he complained to Saint Peter. “œI devoted my entire life to my congregation.”… Continue Reading →

An absent-minded man was going around the revolving door. “Help me,” He said after several tries. “I can’t remember whether I was going in or coming out”.